Unconditional Positive Regard and me

      Over 40 years ago I was young, silly, worked in a factory at a local dairy and went out drinking and dancing most nights. Then I decided I needed my GED and would need tutoring in math to pass the test. So dear neighborhood friends suggested that I request tutoring at a local neighborhood organization called WAITT House (We're All In This Together) run by a Franciscan priest attached to a local parish, Father Ralph DePasquale. I took their suggestion and signed up. I then wanted to volunteer as a thanks. Thus began the rest of my very different life. Father had a PhD in Philosophy and taught at what was then Maria College. He offered free classes on lots of topics in the basement of the Parish Hall. I started attending. I continued my factory job, continued volunteering too. But Fr. Ralph had other plans for me. He said I had to get a college degree, I was wasting my brain and my abilities. I ignored him for a very long time. Father eventually asked me to be his Children's Program Director and Tutor CoOrdinator. And he told me I had decisions to make...did I want to live a life based on charm and silliness or substance and that I had to decide, cheese or children? (it was a cheese making plant I for which I worked.) He had a private heart to heart chat with my mother, much to my embarrassment and chagrin. And he offered a lot of other unsolicited advice over the course of many years. Most of which turned out to be good for me, which I hated admitting.
     
       Long story short, I chose children and others in need, I went to Schenectady College, then College of Saint Rose and obtained a degree in Sociology. Eventually Fr, Ralph and I had many bitter disagreements over lots of things and we parted ways. But he had taught me about Unconditional Positive Regard...that no matter who the other person was, no matter their background, their social status, their legal/criminal offenses, their addictions, etc...no matter what they had been through, who they were, each person I encountered was to be looked at as worthy of consideration, courtesy, kindness and assistance. I did not in any have to like or approve of that person but I had to assist in the ways that I could. For the entire rest of my working life in human services, I tried living up to that standard and goal. I surely failed at times but I never stopped trying. Now as a retired person, I still try in my everyday life. For that and lots of other things, I am forever grateful to the late Father Ralph DePasquale.

May 12, 2018

May 12, 2018

I am an older white woman living in the U.S. right now. I am following with horror the ongoing harassment of Black people going about their daily activities, living their lives. It seems that each day another story breaks about a Black person doing very normal things at coffee houses, at their colleges, in gyms, on buses, on golf courses…on and on. And then some disgruntled or nervous, “frightened” White person thinks they are “suspicious” or “don’t belong” where they are…and calls the police! Thereby subjecting the persons of color to searches, embarrassment, even at times being taken away to police stations. These things are happening to completely innocent people, here in America in 2018…what the Hell is up, what the Hell is going on?? Racism, race based fear, race based suspicions…call these incidents what they are, please. When I am in shops, coffee shops, in stores, on buses, I’m with people of all colors, races, ethnicities. And please believe me, a person has to be doing something really outrageously dangerous or suspicious before the thought of calling the cops occurs to me! I am deeply disturbed and very unhappy about the actions of my fellow whites…but I do not know how to make them change, except perhaps through education about bias awareness. I do know that kids do not hate other kids unless they learn that from adults…I do not have all the answers but I know things must change for the better, the kinder…we must be inclusive, we must.

Staying inside during this bitterly, dangerously cold Northeast NY weather. But I have no cabin fever...because of the internet. I check in on friends and family on Facebook, check for interesting things on Twitter, share and view photos on Pinterest and Instagram. Send and receive emails and texts...all are routine now. But in 2000 when I got a job with a local company which required computer use, I was a terrified luddite. Fortunately for me, my interviewers told me they wanted my local knowledge of human services agencies and my contacts in those organizations. The owner's son, a kind young brainy tech guy, told me he could teach me the skills I'd need. And it began...I was truly terrified that I'd make devastating errors, I'd destroy necessary data, delete important files...and I did not know anything about searching, mail merge..nada. Day after day, that patient young man taught me. His best statement to me was that anything I did, anything...he could undo. That I could not destroy the company single-handedly. So little by little I did learn how to research, how to email, etc. I then wanted my very own computer at home, I got my first IMac. The Apple Store was like Disneyland! Next, at home, I discovered social media, in its' infancy then. I left that job in 2005. My next job required entering data on a federal site...more terror. But that turned out to be ok too. A new Assiatant Director made us text so I learned to do that with the help of young savvy coworkers.. If it had not been for these jobs, I would not be on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram...I'd not be in effortless communication with my son who lives in another state. I would not be researching at the drop of a hat. I'd not have wifi and stream lovely tv shows and podcasts. I am so very grateful to those who helped me overcome my terrors and opened up my world.

Adjusting to using a cane

About 2 years ago the Neuro PA I see told me that I am a "fall risk" due to a whole bunch of issues. But pride has held me back. I now started to walk with a cane, realized a fall and an ER visit would be a far bigger issue than a bit of imagined injured pride. Today the weather is gorgeous in upstate NY so I decided to try taking the bus to the "big" Walmart while using my cane and my little rolling cart. First time trying it for this trip. I am thrilled that I did ok, though I did drop the cane and it fell on a guy's leg...he was kind and understanding. I have a sense of victory because I accomplished this feat of navigation! Staying mobile and as independent as possible for a good long while is my goal.

Joseph Young's Puzzleria!: Moon, June, croon tune… spoon; Hyd-rogain dye ox ...

Joseph Young's Puzzleria!: Moon, June, croon tune… spoon; Hyd-rogain dye ox ...: P! SLICES: OVER (65 + 432) SERVED Welcome to our May 5 th  edition of Joseph Young’s Puzzleria!  On Tuesday, May 9 , 2017 we wil...

Well, we have a 45th President now. And he's unusual, to say the least. Safe to say my social and political worldviews are polar opposite from his. And I do have trepidations for sure. But because I'm "in this U.S.A. boat" with him, unless I wish to sink along with everyone else, I have to wish him success in governing our country. I'll keep watching and studying and writing Letters to the Editor and posting on social media as his term in office continues. I pray that he and his advisors and Cabinet will listen to and care about the needs of their fellow countrymen and women. Not just their fellow rich folks, but those of us on low incomes, SNAP, Medicaid, etc. We do matter, most of us have held jobs and contributed to the economy. But those who have not been able to do that matter too. We ALL matter, we ALL deserve good governance. Here's hoping and praying for it.

My dear senior diabetic cat Thelma went to The Rainbow Bridge on March 28, 2016. She had developed renal failure and anemia, her poor lungs were filling with fluid, she was so skinny by the end. I adored her, she was a great big gentle scaredy cat who was so patient twice a day every day while getting her insulin injections. I believe she and her dear sister Louise and Pinny Gig the guinea pig are together ATB, having a grand time. <3 They are all missed and still loved.

Retirement Life

I'll soon be going into year 2 of retirement life. And I'm still very contented and happy. I suppose my life is "small" now. But I'm really okay with that. I have chronic health conditions that put some limits on my endurance and mobility. But I still get around as well as possible. And I am blessed to have my two beloved kitties, as mentioned in previous blog posts. Thelly made it through another year. Yayyy!! I get up early to her 5AM meows for breakfast. Sweetpea gets up too, along with me. So by 6:30 or 7 in the evening, I'm tired. I go to bed, watch PBS programs until I'm about to fall asleep. During the day if I don't have dr. appointments or plans with friends, I enjoy using my computer to learn, laugh, stay in touch with friends and family all over the place. I slowly do my household chores every morning, takes quite a while these days. But I have the time so it is all good. Occasionally friends who drive will invite me to go on a lovely day trip, very enjoyable. So this is my report on how I'm doing retirement life. Suits me just fine.

Senior citizen kitty Thelma, January 2015

Thelma is approximately 16 years old now. She walks very slowly, has a limp in her back legs, has diabetes. Some family members and friends say she is "too old", the Lantus insulin is "too expensive", she might be better off "put to sleep." But I see the Thelly kitty who still looks at me with love in her gorgeous green eyes, who still has all her functions, loves to take slow strolls through the apartment, sniffing and face marking things as she goes. She comes to the bedroom door and asks to be put up on the bed, and stays a few hours until she uses her homemade climbing system to get down and return to her beloved bed in the living room. She patiently accepts her morning and afternoon injections. She loves her morning and evening wet food and snacks on grain free crunchies. She and my young kitty Sweetpea tolerate one another. I see Thelma when she leaves her bed and looks for patches of bright sunshine to lay in. I tell the doubters that she is in hospice here with me, and it's basically true. My wonderful vet and his staff support me in whatever decisions I make, are willing to let her live out her life as long as she is comfortable and not in pain. Taking care of her is a spiritually enhancing gift from God, I believe. It takes patience, love, concern, observation and care. I like to hope that taking care of Thelma makes me better able to care for all other beings too.

Thelma Kitty

I'm Grandma and share my apartment with 2 kitties, as previously mentioned. Or maybe they share it with me...since they truly run things around here. Thelma is 15 and diabetic, moves slowly, has a gait sort of like John "The Duke" Wayne...that is what I think of anyway. She rests in her beloved most of the time, but she does take short walks to check the place out and go potty. When she does, my heart melts watching her. She moves slowly, takes time to sniff and look all around. Within minutes, she waddles back to bed. I love my kitties!

Another night and day with the dilemmas of Outdoor Kitty

Last night/early morning, I and my 2 indoor kitties were jarred awake by a bloodcurdling cat shriek coming from outdoors, near us. If I were 30 or 40 years younger, I'd have gotten up, gotten dressed, and gone out to check. But the conditions of aging and a more logical understanding of dangers in darkness kept me right where I was. I dreaded what I might find this morning. Would O.K. be on my porch, bloody and frightened? Or out in the yard, in worse condition than I'd like to imagine? But when I went downstairs to feed and water him, he was nowhere to be found. He is usually meowing away on my little porch each morning, eager for his crunchy breakfast. I did a brief check of the area, no kitty. This is the worst part of caring for a kitty that belongs to the outdoors, not to me...the times of not knowing and trying not to speculate.

"Outdoor Kitty"

This is Outdoor Kitty, aka Lovey. For over 2 years I've been providing food, water, and now there is a basic little shelter, too. But he is not "mine", he only just started letting humans touch him this Summer. And I can't stand the idea of him spending another terrible Winter outside. I plan to get him to a shelter by 12/1/14, God and "Sky Cat" willing! If another person wanted to take him, that would be even nicer, but no takers so far. The dilemma of those of us who care for strays...we grow to love them and care about them, but they are not "ours". I will do what I can to keep him warm, alive and safe.

Still Loving Retirement

Still love retirement. Though I'm on a very fixed, very low income, my body, mind and spirit are so much happier and "healthy" than when I was pushing myself every day, all day. I am on SNAP and Medicaid, so very grateful for these survival necessities. I spend only what is necessary, and don't miss "shopping just to shop." I used to have to buy clothes for work, food for work, snacks for work...pay for transportation to and from work. All, done and over with. By 2:30 or 3:00PM every weekday, I was in pain and exhausted. Though my chronic spine and bone and joint issues will always exist, now I move at my own pace and at my own ability to do so. I discarded all the emails to and from my employers when I was employed, that I had saved "just in case", all gone now! My primary had predicted these changes would occur, bless him! I go to some free classes at the local Senior Center, very nice. My days are spent with my wonderful kitties, and I stay in touch with the world every day, online. PBS and NPR are my constant companions. This is not a bad life, at all. I am blessed with great family, friends and neighbors, who assist with transportation when necessary. I thank God each and every day!

Life in early stages of retirement

I do love being retired. Not much money at all, but not even concerned about it, so far. I just need enough to live on, and that's enough. I love getting up each day with my 2 kitties, taking care of feral Outdoor Kitty, as much as she allows, only food, water and pleasant daily greetings. And I go to the local Sr. Center a few days a week, it is free and is my very near neighbor, lucky me! I take a couple of classes there, will add more, I'm sure, as time goes on. My poor, tired, achy body loves this slower, "at my own pace" lifestyle. I am a very contented old gal!

Thanksgiving 2013

It is a sunny, cold day here in upstate NY. I am thankful for my son, my sister, my brother, my wonderful kitties, my friends and extended family too. My Thelma kitty is in the midst of a health problem, a tumor on her paw, it must be removed. So I'm praying that it is not malignant...but all in all, this is a good day, much to be thankful for....good food, good family, good friends.....when so many in the world are without even the basic necessities of life. Prayers for the world, and prayers of gratitude for what I do have today.

Home sick until next Monday

Home with miserable sinus infection, bronchitis and asthma. Glad I went to the dr. yesterday, was headed to pneumonia, now on the right meds. Pushing fluids, drinking herbal teas with honey, not very hungry yet. Very tired, so glad for my 2 kitties, good company.

We are a 2 cat family again

We are a 2 cat family again. I had 2 wonderful cats, Thelma and Louise, since getting them from my son in November 2007. Louise had to be euthanized last December, due to liver disease. So for about 8 months it has been just Thelma and me. But I have adopted the sweet little stray that has been living in my backyard since May. I have been providing food and water daily, trying to decide my next move, before the coming of cold weather. After driving my friends and family crazy dithering about this, I tried picking her up last Friday evening. SUCCESS! On Monday evening, after work, I brought her inside. On Thursday, my wonderful vet checked her out and gave her the necessary shots. She has adapted beautifully, some hissing and growling, to be sure, between Thelly and Sweetpea. That's the name I gave her, quite a while ago. Last night, both kitties slept on my bed with me, one at each end of the bed. I am so delighted to have this sweetie in the family!

Well - I had surgery on my left sinus last Thursday, 2/16/12. The recovery is agonizingly slow. It is the dreadful drainage that is most annoying. And because I'm such a chicken about medical issues, I resorted to calling my doctor's service twice over the weekend, for reassurance. Both doctors were most kind and understanding, responded to my questions and neither made me feel like an over reacting idiot, thank goodness. I am out of work for a minimum of a week, my post-op checkup is tomorrow afternoon. I find out then if I return to work on Thursday or Friday. I am a big wuss, I know. But I have to vent somewhere, where better than my blog and good old FB?

Well, finally! I could not figure out how to get new posts in to my blog after Google +. I am now the grandmother of one adored kitty, my Louise passed away in 12/11. So, now it's just Thelly and me. I am still a left-wing  liberal, old hippie chick, no changes there. I am relaxing at home on this cold January day, playing on the computer and listening to NPR on WAMC, my local public radio station. Nothing very exciting, just comfortable and content.

A late November weekend with sunshine and some warmth is a blessing, isn't it? I got up early to care for my 2 kitties, then went back to bed. Slept until almost 10 AM. Heavenly! Having to get up at 5 AM tomorrow morning to get ready for work - not so heavenly.