Unconditional Positive Regard and me

      Over 40 years ago I was young, silly, worked in a factory at a local dairy and went out drinking and dancing most nights. Then I decided I needed my GED and would need tutoring in math to pass the test. So dear neighborhood friends suggested that I request tutoring at a local neighborhood organization called WAITT House (We're All In This Together) run by a Franciscan priest attached to a local parish, Father Ralph DePasquale. I took their suggestion and signed up. I then wanted to volunteer as a thanks. Thus began the rest of my very different life. Father had a PhD in Philosophy and taught at what was then Maria College. He offered free classes on lots of topics in the basement of the Parish Hall. I started attending. I continued my factory job, continued volunteering too. But Fr. Ralph had other plans for me. He said I had to get a college degree, I was wasting my brain and my abilities. I ignored him for a very long time. Father eventually asked me to be his Children's Program Director and Tutor CoOrdinator. And he told me I had decisions to make...did I want to live a life based on charm and silliness or substance and that I had to decide, cheese or children? (it was a cheese making plant I for which I worked.) He had a private heart to heart chat with my mother, much to my embarrassment and chagrin. And he offered a lot of other unsolicited advice over the course of many years. Most of which turned out to be good for me, which I hated admitting.
     
       Long story short, I chose children and others in need, I went to Schenectady College, then College of Saint Rose and obtained a degree in Sociology. Eventually Fr, Ralph and I had many bitter disagreements over lots of things and we parted ways. But he had taught me about Unconditional Positive Regard...that no matter who the other person was, no matter their background, their social status, their legal/criminal offenses, their addictions, etc...no matter what they had been through, who they were, each person I encountered was to be looked at as worthy of consideration, courtesy, kindness and assistance. I did not in any have to like or approve of that person but I had to assist in the ways that I could. For the entire rest of my working life in human services, I tried living up to that standard and goal. I surely failed at times but I never stopped trying. Now as a retired person, I still try in my everyday life. For that and lots of other things, I am forever grateful to the late Father Ralph DePasquale.